Grandpa's stroke and rehab

From my journal:  "Grandpa Marvin had a stroke last Sunday,   Jan. 7^th.   I got a text from Kent around 6:30.  As it didn’t appear to be life-threatening, I didn’t go up until the next morning.  That’s when I learned that Dad had an Ischemic Stroke, which is the best kind as far as damage and recovery.  The parietal, occipital and temporal lobes on the left side were all affected.  Doctors felt the stroke was caused by an A-fib condition that I wasn’t aware of.  I felt like Dad's adjustment of warfarin contributed.  I felt really uneasy when he told me that he had some new vitamins and was tapering himself off from it.   An initial, quick assessment was that he wasn’t too bad off, but the longer I was there the more clear it was that he had aphasia, and most of his signs were due to the damage in the parietal lobe.  Mary was so tired that I decided I needed to stay while she got some rest, so I asked Bethany to do my pm run. Some of Dad’s words were Dr. Suess words, some were logical substitutions and some made no sense at all.  The first 24 hours he was completely unaware of his new limitations. When asked to produce specific words or information, he did really poorly.  I was sick about what the future held. 

Gratefully, I went back Tuesday and Wednesday between bus runs. He improved each day, but we became more aware of the loss of strength and coordination on his right side and a breach in his judgement, self-awareness and reasoning.  We saw some of his undesirable traits intensify.  We were told he could only stay one more day and it was clear he thought he was fine to go home and would not be going to any re-hab as had been strongly recommended.  I mentioned my concerns to my siblings by text, as well as my desire to get together.  It was amazing, but in one hour we all gathered at Dad’s except Mark.  It was unanimous that Dad needed some help in a re-hab, but it looked like it would be a fight.  I prayed very specifically that night.  

My heart was heavy as I left the next morning to go back.  Dad was there alone when I arrived.  He wasn’t in good spirits.  It had been a rather miserable night and his hackles were up.  We started to chat and I felt the conversation was led. One thing that really helped was the reports from Texas as Malea was in active labor and he comprehended what a blessing this was for her and Colton and also this very fortunate little boy.   Before long I was able to express some things to him about his condition that he seemed to really understand for the first time.  There was a softening.  When the speech therapist came, something happened to Dad.  It was hard to watch as he realized he could no longer count to ten on demand, or read fluently, or found the words to answer simple riddles like “I am thinking of something made of glass and metal that helps you see.”  He never really cried, but the tears kept spilling from the corner of his eyes.   When Mary arrived he did not fight us on plans to go to re-hab.  He didn’t tell us any stories about how terrible he felt it had been there for mom and how he had saved everyday by being there with her.  He was humble and willing to submit in a way I’ve never seen before.   That spirit has not left him.  In fact, he seems quite content to be there.  Paul Wick is there and they have enjoyed catching up with each other.  Dad’s window has full view of Loafer Mountain and I don’t think that is a coincidence.  He is working hard, but eating up the praise and the continual care.  We have experienced  a tender mercy and maybe even a miracle.

Kent reported that he took Dad home for a few minutes to get some things he said he needed.  He marveled that they were only there about 20 minutes.  Dad got what he needed and was anxious to get back to church.  This next chapter in Dad’s life doesn’t look as dark and dismal as I have imagined.

Grandpa Marvin at Parkway Rehab Center in Payson, Utah. 

January 17: "Dad continues to make progress.  He is meek, humble and determined to do everything he is asked to do.  I was there was he was putting a 20 piece puzzle together.  It took his a while and it was hard to watch him struggle.   He was also sorting money and putting it back inside a tennis ball and playing ladder ball."

February 10:  "Dad has been home from rehab for a week.  I was able to spend a 24 hour period with him and it was good.  We had a meeting in Payson with my brothers and sister regarding Dad’s future care this afternoon.  We spent two of the most delightful hours I have spent for some time together.  There was a unity that was almost tangible.  There was no contention.  There was laughter and joy in that gathering and in our focus.  We made a good plan and each committed to their part of the plan. I left feeling like I have the best family in the world. I feel closer to my siblings because of that time together.  I was saddened that Dick was unable to attend.  

February 14: I was able to take Dad back to the temple for the first time since his stroke on Valentine’s Day.   I felt joy as we entered the temple, but that joy intensified as we stepped beyond the recommend desk.  There were those seen and unseen who I sensed felt that same excitement and joy.  The combination touched me deeply and it was hard to blink back the tears.  Darrel went with us and took care of Dad’s every need.  As expected, Dad had forgotten some things he has had mastered for decades, but I was grateful and somewhat surprised to see him accept that honestly, but without great alarm.  He simply concluded, “I’ll keep going back until I remember it.”